The Journal of cheatercheater.
Eric is driving up in two weeks for the entirity of the week until probably friday morning. He has to be back home by Saturday to make it to work on time. I only ever see Daniel on the weekends anyway so I'm hoping if all goes as planned that there wont be any bumps along the way :D And if there are, hell, spackle and sand baby.

I was also thinking about it the other day, and the whole 'ignorance is bliss' proverb. Sometimes? All the time? Never? Because, realistically, as a 4 30 am over-thought rambling, ive always taken pride on my ability to be unfeeling at any given oppritunity that I needed to. I've always viewed it as a strength, rather than a weakness, to be able to lock feelings and thoughts and memories into a vault and be un burdended whenever the occasion arises. The supposed talent to be able to view anything before my feelings that ive always seen as an edge over those stupid, ignorant emotion driven people, an edge to get ahead with anything that i need to get done. However, I see some cracks in my armor coming out lately, like an overworked engine, it putters at first, but if you keep going its not going to be long before your car dies completley and youre stranded in the middle of nowhere. Ive just spent so long having complete control over myself that the idea of not doing so absolutley terrifies me, and secretly I believe that this whole ordeal with these two poor unsuspecting boys was just to prove to myself that I CAN stay in control and not feel. Not feel guilty, or fall all sappy mushy in love. And its worked, pretty well, up until now. and now that im thinking, im thinking its time for some honesty, somewhere, not with the boys necesarilly, but somewhere, but that just leaves the question to be answered... does ignorance equal bliss? Well, lord knows that when I wake up in the morning this will all be a distant memory, locked away for the day that im stranded on that lovely metaphorical road....I hope it has great scenery...
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